Category Archives: Self-love

The Work on ‘I need to feel good about myself in order to love myself’

I need to feel good about myself in order to love myself

Is that true?

No.

How do I react when I believe the thought ‘I need to feel good about myself in order to love myself’?

I wait to love myself, and as a result I very rarely love myself, if at all. So I make unloving decisions that, surprise surprise, don’t make me feel good!!!

Who am I without the thought ‘I need to feel good about myself in order to love myself?’

I just love. I barely think of myself, or evaluate anything about myself. I am at peace and so relaxed.

Is there a peaceful reason to believe the thought ‘I need to feel good about myself in order to love myself?’

No.

Turn it around.

– I don’t need to feel good about myself in order to love myself

In fact, I think self-love comes first. I’ve had it backwards!

– I need to feel good about my thinking in order to love myself

Totally. I need to eradicate guilt and painful thoughts and then I will love myself entirely.

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The Work on ‘I need to feel good about myself’

I need to feel good about myself.

Is that true?

No.

How do I react when I believe the thought that ‘I need to feel good about myself?’

I try and control myself, my appearance, and my environment in ways that I think will make me feel good about myself, which uses up a great deal of energy. I try to move life in a way that will lead me to feel good about myself, and when it doesn’t go there I feel absolutely distraught. I become angry with God/The Universe for putting me in a life where I can’t feel good about myself — I feel completely forsaken. I feel like a complete failure and like complete rubbish when I don’t feel good about myself. My opinion of myself is very fragile and easily influenced by events and circumstances I have little control over.

Who am I without the thought ‘I need to feel good about myself’?

I just live. I let life be. I feel SO relaxed. I just go with whatever I’m feeling, and I do The Work. I don’t try to control life.

Turn it around

– I don’t need to feel good about myself

Reasons it could be better to not feel good about myself:

1. I could see what I need to do The Work on next
2. I could get some great writing out of it!
3. I can enjoy what there is to enjoy in not feeling good about myself — e.g. eating chocolate, confiding in someone and having them tell me how awesome I am, taking a bath, wallowing, asking Boyfriend for cuddles, crying, laughing, hugging a stuffed toy in bed in the dark, hugging the cat, feeling tired and heavy from crying.

– I need to feel good about my thinking

This is really where peace and feeling good comes from!

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